Ode to Potty Training

Author - Amanda Cummings

What's the most disgusting job that you really desire to do?
Potty training a child who is three or worse, two.

The cost of those diapers drives you slowly insane,
Messing with the coherent thoughts in your brain.

I could save $516 dollars a year,
If only he didn't have to wear those things on his rear.

So you start the inevitable, the disgusting, the gross,
You buy the potty chair you think he'll like most.

Your spirits are high and everything seems fun
No problem you think, this can easily be done.

And then it begins, the bribing and prodding
Only to turn into moments of sobbing.

Olympic sprinters are not as fast as you
When you've got a child who says he needs to poo.

Your life becomes reminders, nagging and cleanings
And you wonder to yourself if your life has any meaning.

And then the most wonderful day arrives,
The poop in the potty brings a tear to your eyes.

You scream, clap, and yell in delight
The grossness in the potty is the most beautiful sight

The light at the end of the tunnel is near
Soon, no more diapers to buy for his rear.

What Did I Do Today

Author - Unknown

Today I left some dishes dirty,
The bed got made around 3:30.
The diapers soaked a little longer,
The odor grew a little stronger.
The crumbs I spilled the day beforeAre staring at me from the floor.
The fingerprints there on the wall
Will likely be there still next fall.
The dirty streaks on those windowpanes
Will still be there next time it rains.
Shame on you, you sit and say,
Just what did you do today?
I held a baby till she slept,
I held a toddler while he wept.
I played a game of hide and seek,
I squeezed a toy so it would squeak.
I pulled a wagon, sang a song,
Taught a child right from wrong.
What did I do this whole day through?
Not much that shows, I guess that's true.
Unless you think that what I've done,
Might be important to someone
With deep green eyes and soft brown hair,
If that is true... I've done my share.

Mommy Facts : )

Enjoy these fun Mommy Facts!

Surprising Numbers:

82.5 million of moms in the U.S. - 2 Billion moms throughout the world.
4.3 Babies born each second!
82% of women aged 40-44 years old who are mothers. In 1976, 90% of women in that age group were mothers.
25 is the average age of new moms.
In 1970 it was 21.40% of all births are the mother's first.
4.0 Million is the number of women who have babies each year. Of this number, about 425,000 are teens aged 15-19, and more than 100,000 are age 40 or over.
35,000 births are attended by physicians, midwives or others that do not occur in hospitals.
2 is the average number of children that women today can expect to have in their lifetime.
3 is the average number of children that women in Utah and Alaska can expect to have in their lifetime.
Only about 10% of women have four or more children today.
In 1976, 36% of women had four or more children.
1 in 5 preschoolers are cared for in a day-care center while their mother works.
August is the most popular Birth Month.
Tuesday is the most popular day of the week in which to have a baby.
The odds of a woman delivering twins is 1-in-32.
10 Million is the number of single mothers living with children under 18 years old. This number is up from 3 million in 1970.
105 Boys are born for every 100 Girls.

Mommy Chore Facts:

Women average 2.2 hrs / day on chores, vs. 1.3 hrs / day for men.
88% of Laundry is done by moms, totaling 330 loads of laundry and 5,300 articles of clothing each year.
The least favorite chore for moms is vacuuming the stairs.
A baby has 7,300 diaper changes by it's 2nd birthday.
Moms take 2 minutes, 5 seconds to change a diaper vs. 1 minute, 36 seconds for dads. For moms, this adds up to 3, 40-hour work weeks each year - just changing diapers!
Preschoolers require mom's attention once every 4 minutes or 210 times a day.
A preschooler's mom spends 2.7 hrs / day on primary childcare, vs 1.2 hours for dad.

Mommy Records:

Mrs. Vassilyev of Russia gave birth to 69 children between 1725 and 1766.
Rosanna Dalla Corte gave birth to a baby boy when she was 63 years old in Italy in 1994.
Signora Carmelina Fedele gave birth to a 22 lb 8 ox boy in Italy in 1955.

Mother's Day Facts:

Mother's Day is the third largest card sending occasion.
Moher's Day was made a National Holiday in 1914 by President Wilson. It was started in 1908.
68% of people plan to call Mom on Mother's Day, totaling 122.5 million phone calls making it the busiest phone day of the year.
50% of households give Mother's Day cards which equals 152 million cards.
Mother's Day will generate $5 Billion dollars in revenue from greeting-card publishers.

Facts provided by: www.happyworker.com and the U.S. Census Bureau