Ode to Potty Training

Author - Amanda Cummings

What's the most disgusting job that you really desire to do?
Potty training a child who is three or worse, two.

The cost of those diapers drives you slowly insane,
Messing with the coherent thoughts in your brain.

I could save $516 dollars a year,
If only he didn't have to wear those things on his rear.

So you start the inevitable, the disgusting, the gross,
You buy the potty chair you think he'll like most.

Your spirits are high and everything seems fun
No problem you think, this can easily be done.

And then it begins, the bribing and prodding
Only to turn into moments of sobbing.

Olympic sprinters are not as fast as you
When you've got a child who says he needs to poo.

Your life becomes reminders, nagging and cleanings
And you wonder to yourself if your life has any meaning.

And then the most wonderful day arrives,
The poop in the potty brings a tear to your eyes.

You scream, clap, and yell in delight
The grossness in the potty is the most beautiful sight

The light at the end of the tunnel is near
Soon, no more diapers to buy for his rear.